النوالُ الموحِشُ

أكتبُ لغائبةٍ ليسَ لها أن تسمعَ و تُؤنِسُ ..

أصُبُ فقدها في أوراقي فتَخطِفُ الدموع حِبرَ أقلامي ..

انتِ الحبُ البعيدُ المؤلمُ .. 

انتِ العين التي أرى بها الفردوس طريقاً في العُتم الدامِسُ..

انتِ مستودع الحُبِ الذي ولى..

قد طالَ الفِراقُ و طالَ بِيَ الألمُ..

أخجلُ أن يَمرَّ يومٌ لا أدعو فيه لكِ رحمةً مِن الباري و يغفر..

ذاقَ الأحباب نوالك و لم أذق أنا إلا النوالَ المُوحِشُ

يا الله كيفَ لي ان اصبر على فراق النوالِ المُبهِجُ ؟

يا الله لا اعتراض لقضائك..

و لكن الاشواق تقتل المؤمن..

رحماك ربي اقذف في قلبي صبراً ..فمالي غير بابِكَ مَخرجُ ..

shahad almulify 

تعالي أرتبك ...

تتراقص الكلمات أمامي تمازحني و تنتظرني لألتقطها 

أصُبُها و أرسمها و أغنيها في أوراقي

تعذبني و تُؤرقني 

هي ملهوفة و سعيدة و أنا تائهة مسكينة 

أنا التي أتوه في جُملي أبحث عن معنى 

معنى يفهمه البسطاء من حولي 

لعل شعوري مجرد بعثرة 

فالكلمات تاهت بين رحمتي 

او لربما صرت أنا ضحية كلماتي 

و لأنها تعلم أنها ترهقني 

تطيل الرقص أمامي 

تداعبني و تخنقني 

تعالي يا عنيدة .. تعالي لأوراقي 

أريدك لي حبيبة يا كلماتي يا حروفي

مالك مبعثرة ؟؟

تعالي ارتبك و ابني لك أغصانا 

يا جميلة . .  يا مغرورة 

كم أحبك يا عربية يا راقيه 

 . . تعالي ارتبك 

Shahad almulify.

Happier alone.

I'm full of flaws
I'm human.
I'm guilty of loneliness
'cause they love me and I don't.

Sipping my coffee with lots of  joy
Always drowning in its savor.
Like a child feeling high.

I look blue because you're gone.
But blue is good when you see the sky.
I'm a blue ocean full of scars.

I'm far as the mountains.
You can't catch me.
I can't catch myself.

I'm a game
play me right
win my heart.

Whispering in the dark
Sad and sorrow.
leave me alone.

Isolation what fits
my unbearable soul.
I'm different.

Myself concerns
Wars.
please God take me in peace.

Love me less
respect me more.
don't get trapped
at the end i'm happier alone.

Shahad almulify.

A blink of an eye

I can see lavenders swinging above my head and the smell of jasmine in the air as you're here with me. you were always here but I've never knew I'd love you this much .. Her love's growing everyday in my heart like a plant that gets water from the beautiful words she speaks with her mouth.  you took my mind unbelievably in a blink of an eye ..I would write love stories about your affectionate little heart .. And now I have found the real meaning of life I'm so scared to lose you entirely ..you showed me the brightness when it was all dark ..you gave me the hope I forgot about ..I wake up everyday with your name approaching my mind reminding me to thank God for having you around..your elegance presence gives me the greatest joy as I see your face beautifully illuminated by your kind soul ..people will read this and love you automatically 'cause you have the magic of making everybody be in love with you..

your strong will and patience interested my anger storms and it changed me to a wiser grown up girl , you gotta be proud of your self 'cause mam you've changed me unconsciously when no one ever could !

you're the bless I don't wanna lose 

you're the mother I've lost ..

the most beautiful aunt in this world. 

A little chatting

Life is a test we need to pass to be relieved. We may get lost in hard times but yet there is always a way to be found ! things are not always by our side. The heart can be broken hundred times and it can't be fixed unless we made some changes inside for the sake of survival. Our souls need to be fed with books and the worship of God as well as a car need to be filled with fuel. Enjoyment is the key for satisfaction so enjoy every sec of your life . A new day need to be lived fairness so let yesterday pass and move on.
Always forgive whoever harmed you , broke you or disappointed you because even tho they made you cry once they also made you stronger and wiser !. Let your mind live a moment of meditation far away from the noises and distractions. Let it think about what happened the past years and what you have really achieved. start accomplishing your dreams instead of just following them because being behind won't get you any more further indeed it will put you in the position of failure. It's a shame that we have in our generation many smart and gifted youth yet they waste all their energy mostly in bed and shopping. You have to start finding yourself and develop your skills for good so we can put a limit for the puerility in this country. If we want the best for this country we have to start moving forward not backward. Yes we were born to be responsible for our country and once we were "خير أمة أخرجت للناس" we still can be and a little foolishness and laziness won't change the fact I believe . So let us start working for excellence and put an end for the puerility. 

Imaginary friends

It happened that my grandmother suffered hardly with Cancer and left us lost behind ..
Cancer took her away while I was 10 years old..
I was so young that I couldn't understand what is death..

" What is death ? " 

I kept asking my imaginary friends in my head and they answered :
Sweat heart , Death is when your mission on this earth is done and it's time to leave ..
I asked : Does it hurt ? to be dead ?
they answered ..
No darling you just leave this world in peace and you be in a better place that smells so good and full of roses just like you..
Death is when you wear a silk white long dress that make your face shine like a beautiful angel.
death is when all your problems are gone and you be fearless 'cause there's nothing to be afraid of anymore
..
Then I wanna go to death with my grandma and mom .. they seem to be happy there and I'm here feeling so alone without them .. Could you lead me ? to their place ? please ..
Yes shahad we could take you but only when your time comes ..
and when is that ? would it take long ?
Well, we don't know exactly but until then you have to be strong. you have to face this life first.
If you want your death to be a relief you have to work for it to get it.
Shahad! don't you ever fall for the devil and always be kind to people.
never harm people and forgive who ever harmed you.
help who needs you and pray for them.
respect the Elder and take care of the youngest.
And pray for Allah everyday like it's your last.
....
Lately I miss talking to my imaginary friends and I tried to re-connect them in my head but unfortunately I didn't have any answer .. they're gone forever I guess
Thank you for being there.

Shahad almulify

Water in your face

She was sitting in the porch while her long brown hair waving with the dusty wind hopefully she gets a response from her beloved solider ..
a completely yellow and almost black is all she can see from her porch with the sound of their guns and their bombs that sounds clearly like her heartbeats ..
Her big belly holding a cute angel inside .. and another who barely understands what's happening around..
*whispers from the inside*

"He got killed in his tank" ,
 "oh my god no it can't be true!! " ,
 " poor wife ..  poor kids "
she ran like a feather inside and stood with silence hoping it's not her love who just died ..
a soft hug from her sister , she whispered " I'm sorry for your lost " ..
like a knife getting in and out her chest .. her body felt completely heavy. She couldn't hold herself anymore
she fell on her knees crying in silence with his voice crossing her mind and the image of the day he left..

While he was resting his head on her belly he said " This boy shall see his father .."
He held her hands and looked right throw the eyes and said
" You are the air I'm breathing and I will protect you every step of the way even if it caused me my own life "

A kiss to his little hopeless family that turned to be the last ..
The sound of his footsteps walking to the outer door with his face that covered with silent tears
 " darling , Stay still ..stay strong" he said
like he already knew it's goodbye ..

she woke up to reality and embraced her little boy warmly ..
" Mama , why the water in your face ? *wiping it with his little hands* "
" you are not beautiful with water in your face , I love you when you smile , please smile for me "
That's when she realized that she is the protector now and only God can help her.

years have passed and time has forgotten yet his ghost kept stopping by ..
holding her with his warm arms whispering in her ears "Darling , Stay still .. stay strong , stay still .. stay strong.."

In the memory of : Iraq invasion of Kuwait
Based on a true story with a little of my imagination
Shahad almulify.

We are not fancy dresses.

Most of us must have been into a situation of being owned by other people whether they are your friends , your cousins or your siblings ..

yes I was living in the hole of ownership but I wasn't the owner . I was owned !

I was one of their favorite video games , play me whenever they're bored

why don't they get it ? That people are not their fancy dresses only to be worn in parties.

We are souls in need to be filled with love , trust and joy 

God didn't create us to be your entertainment source

people are born to build their own life not to be a base for others.

getting a bunch of slaps wasn't enough for me till one day I realized 

is this really worth it ? 

In every breakdown you collect and re-build the fallen pieces of your heart when they're laughing around like they never cared 

laughing around never bothered themselves to even FAKE a call to see how you're doing.

where have you been when I died a million times and needed you the most to be by my side?

to help me and rise me up?!

to hold my hand and pick up with me the fallen pieces of my heart ! 

Yes I'm funny and chatty , I dance all the time , I make jokes , yes I admit that it's more fun having me around 

but there was a time when I fell apart .. and couldn't just pretend to be funny for you to accept me around
you supposed to be there for me but all you did is letting me down
I'm sorry for being so dark and couldn't share my feelings with you but the truth is that I have been throw a lot and I didn't get the time to think of any of you no matter how important you are 

The funny thing here that when they need you , you're the first to be by their side without being noticed
you just pass away when your work is done and you get nothing but forgetfulness

hey whoever reading this if you felt your heart aching because you just remembered whoever done this to you yes I can feel you.
in fact we all do because I believe we all have been throw this.
I just want you to know that you are a great person holding so much love in your heart and you just can't stop forgiving who's so important to you whether they care or not
yes you are a person who's born with kindness and we're blessed to have you around !
whoever you are I want you to feel strong and believe that without having you in our life we'd all be lost!
 I LOVE YOU because I know how it feels to be shut out by your beloveds and yet you don't stop thinking about them . I love you because as much as I shut you out you kept calling me and never said goodbye. I LOVE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE PERFECT THE WAY YOU ARE.
PERIOD.

Shahad almilify.

يا ليل ..

في ظُُلمة الليل الحنُون تتراقصُ الذكريات بجنون

 لتُخرج دموعاً كُتمت في وقت الصُبوح

 ما اقساك يا عقل عندما تجبرنا على النكوص

قلوب اشقاها رحيل من احبت فهل لها أن تتوب ؟ 

 و قلوب مات الحب فيها عندما كثر حولها الاقنعة الكذوب 

في قلبها ثقل لا يرحم لا يبكي لا يخرج 

في قلبهِ ماضِ أليم و مستقبل مظلوم 

يا ليل أشكوك ألم الرحيل .. رحيل من غادروا دنيانا بلا موعد مذكور

يا ليل أشكوك رحيل من هم أحياء في الدنيا .. أموات في دنيانا  

يا ليل كم من ساهر يتضرع مولاه ندما .. خوفا .. اشتياقا 

ساجدا باكيا للرقيب الحسيب 

اسودُ لونك كحزن الساهرين

ترافقك وسائدهم الغارقه بأمطار الانين

غصة قلبٍ بائسة كانت وراء كل ابتسامة زائفه 

يا ليل أأشكيكَ ألم دنيا تستلذ بطعن الطيبين ؟

وجع الصابرين مؤلم لا بكاء ولا أنين و لا رفيق

يا ليل في جفونك راحة التائبين و موت العاصين

يا ليل أنت لي صديق عندما غاب الصديق 

أنت لي الانيس عندما غاب الانيس

 فبك تستهلُ الاحزان ُو يبلغ مداها

و بك يصنع الانسان حلم جديد 

فما بعد البكاء و الندم غير أملٍ جديد 

و ما بعد الالم الا درس منير 

Shahad almulify